かっこいい奴になろう！〜自分らしい人生を、キャリアをデザインする〜

教師からのコメント
Thank you for your interesting submission . Your writing was excellent , very informative and well-written . It was also well organised and structured . From the correction I have made, I think you need to work on choosing the right word and placing it in the right place in a sentence using the correct tense and articles . Eg . ' He finally made the Japanese postal service private . ' . Please use the Englishtown Grammar guide and Lab to help you improve . Read a few good books in English and this will give you the practice you need to help you with new words . Keep working hard. You show great potential . Well done and good luck with your English studies . I look forward to your next writing .

生徒の英作文
Jyunichiro Koizumi, who is a former prime minister of Japan, is a distinctive political leader. He is different from other Japanese politicians in three points(WC)(>>ways ). He can clearly take his own stances(SI)(>>stance ), convey messages effectively and take actions. He finally made (AR)(>> the )Japanese postal service private.

Firstly, he took his stance and told what he wanted to do to make the country better.
Generally speaking, Japanese politicians tend not to show their stances (WC)(>>preferences )and say ambiguous things to prevent risks.

Secondly, he conveyed messages effectively. He was a very good speaker compared to others.

Finally, he quickly took actions. Usually, it takes so much (WC)(>>a long )time to decide anything for Japanese(WO)(>>for the Japanese government to arrive at a decision on any issue) since Japanese (PS)(>>they )want everyone to (MW)(>> be )satisfy(AG)(>>satisfied ). However, he showed leadership and took actions quickly.

It is still controversial weather privatization of postal service was good or not. However, Koizumi is the one who can take actions(I(x))(>>effectively) and is distinctive from other Japanese politicians

*************** 2つ目 *****************
トピック Level 13
Write a short news article
単語数100以上150以内
Score 84/100

教師からのコメント
Dear Student, You did a great job in describing a news article, as it was clearly written and easily understood. You did well in keeping your writing simple and short. Check out the proper usage of the essentials like, verb tense, phraseology, prepositions, word order and articles for better formation of sentences and to gain better grades as you progress. Please review my corrections and work on them. Good luck with future assignments - Alan

生徒の英作文
Junior high school teachers cheated on (PR)(>>in)their qualification exams in Oita Prefecture

An executive member of the board for qualification exam for junior high school teachers in Oita accepted money from the (D)(>>)some of (AR)(>>the)examinees' parents who are (VT)(>>were)also educators. Those parents paid about 1-3(x>>y)(>>one - three) million yen (10-30 thousands USD) for topping on (AR)(>>the)scores to let their sons pass the exam.

These days, the qualification exam is highly competitive since it is a stable job and only 1 (x>>y)(>>one)in 10th (x>>y)(>>ten)can pass the exam. The examinees of the last year are so disappointed with this injustice and get (VT)(>>got)angry.

However, the biggest problem of this dishonesty is that those who cheated on the test have taught kids. Everyone must feel what these teachers can teach to (D)(>>)their kids and no one wants their kids in their classes. It is true that sometimes people need to bow down injustice and right things cannot be right. However, this must not (MW)(>>be)the way to teach dishonesty to kids.

備考欄
AG=agreement(I AM, she IS)
AR=article (a, an, the)
C=capitalisation
CO=combine sentences
D=delete
EX=expression or idiom
I(x)=insert x
MW=missing word
NS=new sentence
NSW=no such word
PH=phraseology
PL=plural
PO=possessive
PR=preposition
PS=part of speech
PU=punctuation
SI=singular
SP=spelling
VT=verb tense
WO=word order
WC=word choice
x>>y=change from x to y
HL=highlight